


To Survive The Worst

by cmpeabooty



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst, Awkward friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Gen, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Making Out, Minor Character Death, No Sex, Raijin Days, awkward teen relationships, don’t worry about the underage tag, give him a hug, im sorry izaya, sadzaya, shinra does his Best, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-08-23 16:42:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20246020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cmpeabooty/pseuds/cmpeabooty
Summary: during their first year of high school, and the early stages of izaya and shizuos rivalry, a tragedy changes izaya forever





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> don’t worry about the underage tag!!! i just put that in because i plan on shizuo and izaya to get together. maybe make out i dont know.

_There’s a loud ringing in his ears, and his right arm really fucking hurts. _

_ Izaya tries to sit up, but the cars’ diagonal tilt keeps him sliding to his right. _

_ Wait... why is the car sideways?_

_ The only light out is from another cars’ headlights. It’s enough for Izaya to see. _

_ For him to see his father, with branches and glass imbedded in his face and neck. _

_ Enough to see his mother slumped sideways, hair clumped with dirt. _

_ To see Mairu in the center seat next to him, blood everywhere, and her eyes shut. _

_ Enough to see that Kururi’s head was halfway demolished, just a giant splatter of blood on the window and door. _

_ Izaya doesn’t hear himself screaming. _

Gasping, Izaya opens his eyes again, greeted by white tiles in the ceiling. 

A low beeping sounds to his left, as well as an IV stuck in his left arm. He pulls it out, sitting up slowly. 

He’s in the hospital. His family... they should be here, too, right?

His pulse starts rising as Izaya pulls various hospitally things off his skin. 

Conveniently, a nurse walks in at that very moment. 

“Oh! No, no sweetheart, you need to leave those thing alone!” She rushes over gently clasping his hands, and moving them to the side. She begins re-attaching Izaya’s mess. 

“How do you feel? Hear, a glass of water will help.” She pours some water from a nearby pitcher and hands him the cup. 

He takes a few sips, turning into a few gulps. He didn’t notice how thirsty he really was. 

The nurse opens her mouth to speak, but Izaya cuts her off. “Are... where are they? My sisters...”

The nurses face falls, she even pales a bit. “You’ve been unconscious for about sixteen hours. How about you rest more before we-“

“No! I need to see them!” Izaya’s voice begins to raise. It brings in his doctor, who was nearby. 

He gives a gesture to the nurse. she hesitates for a moment, before giving Izaya what is meant as a reassuring squeeze to his left knee, and she quickly exits the room. 

The doctor, Yamoto, as his lab coat suggests, comes forward. “Son, this is going to be hard to hear. I need to know if you can handle it.”

Izaya frowns, “Just tell me.”

Sighing, Yamoto continues, “Izaya-san, around 11 PM last night, your family got into a major car accident with another car.”

Izaya stares. 

“You are the only one who survived, nearly unscathed. Your mother is on life support. The rest of your family has unfortunately passed on.”

Yamoto watches the teen as he stares at Yamoto with disbelief and denial all over his face. 

“That’s not what happened...” Izaya can’t believe that. He won’t. 

Yamoto sighs once more, expecting this type of reaction. 

“Would you like me to take you to see your mother?”

He barely catches Izaya’s small nod. 

Yamoto wheels Izaya down a few halls in a wheelchair. Izaya wanted to walk, but apparently his right knee is also injured. He doesn’t remember that part. 

“Are you sure you want to see her, Izaya-san?”

“Yes.”

“Alright then.” And Yamoto wheels Izaya into a small room, full of hospital equipment. His mother lays in the center of it all. 

Izaya feels his heart stop in that moment, as he lays eyes on her face. 

“H-hey, mama, wake up. C’mon.” His eyes start to blur as tears make their way in. He takes her left hand, and rubs his face into it. 

Izaya sits in silence with her, for only about twenty minutes, when all the machines and equipment alarms sound. 

Izaya is wheeled away by the nurses and doctors rushing into the room to revive his mother. 

“No pulse.”

_Please..._

“Begin compressions, defibrillator charging.”

_Stop it. _

“Clear.” Her body convulses up. 

_Just wake up already._

“No pulse.”

_Stop stop stop stop!_

“Clear.” Convulsions. 

“No pulse.”

_Mom... please_. 

“Clear.”

_Mama..._

“No pulse.”

“It’s been thirty minutes, doctor.”

_Don’t stop!_

“Alright, I’ll call it.”

_No! Save her! Please PLEASE!_

“Orihara Kyouko. Time of death: 3:45 PM.”

After two more nights in the hospital, two more nights of crying himself to sleep, the hospital has to discharge him. 

They give him the only salvageable items there were from his family, along with their identification 

His mother’s engagement and wedding rings, his father’s wedding ring, and a stuffed panda, that Kururi has loved since she was a baby. 

He walks home in a daze. 

_Two days previous..._

“Class, I have an important announcement.”

Shinra continues his doodle of Celty in a bikini, Shizuo continues staring at the ceiling. 

“Last night, Orihara-kun and his family were in a terrible car accident. Unfortunately, Izaya lost his parents and his sisters in the accident.”

Shinra’s listening now. He didn’t think anything of Izaya’s absence today. He always skips classes. 

He pretends that his heart only skipped a beat because of his Celty doodle. 

“He will be absent from school for about two months. Please be respectful of Orihara and his loss. Now, let’s move onto today’s subject: Nakaraha Chuuya and his works...”

Shinra stops listening again, but this time he just stares into space, in shock. He hopes Izaya survives the aftermath. 

Shizuo, in the back of the room, feels more surprise and sympathy than he wishes. Izaya may be a flea, but to lose your entire family like that...?

He glances at Shinra, who is staring at Izaya’s empty seat. 

Class ends sometime later, and Shinra is packing his books into his school bag. 

Shizuo stays in his seat. He tries to wait for most people to leave before he does. In case he gets too angry. 

“Shinra-kun, may i get a word?” Their teacher calls from his desk. Shinra already can guess what he’s going to ask. 

“Yes, sir?”

“You and Orihara are friends, yes? Don’t forget to help him out in this time of need. Also, I’ll put together a few workbooks for him to do so he doesn’t get behind. I’ll ask his other teachers to do the same. If you could bring them to him?”

“Of course, sir!” Even Shinra knows his enthusiasm is forced. Their teacher barely cares about what’s happened. He’s always hated Izaya. 

Then again, most people do. 

But he’s a teacher!!! He shouldn’t hate a student! 

As Shinra walks away from the desk, he pulls out his flip phone, and types out a message to Izaya. It’s the least he could do. 

_ “I heard about the accident. I’m sorry it happened. If you need something don’t hesitate to ask :)”_

Ugh, that sounded so dumb. Shinra really can’t handle emotional trauma. 

_Present_

Shinra skips to the apartment door. “Coming~!” 

Maybe it’s Celty! She forgot her goodbye kiss after all!

He flings open the door “Celty you’re-“. 

It’s not Celty, it’s Izaya who rang the doorbell. He looks so thin and beaten down. 

“Hey... What’s going on Izaya?” Dammit _Shinra that’s not what you say to someone who just lost their whole family. _

Izaya doesn’t seem to notice, or care. He struggles to keep eye contact with Shinra, which is very odd for him. 

He’s wearing his usual red shirt and black pants, though there are a few tears in the fabric. A couple small band aids decorate his face. He’s carrying a plastic bag with a small box in it, and a well-loved stuffed panda in his left arm.

“I... um. Can I stay here for a couple nights?” He seems ready to bolt, like Shinra will laugh or get upset. 

Shinra decides to do what he does best, be his usually upbeat self. 

“Of course you can! Stay however long you like!” With a grin, he drags Izaya in. 

Izaya stumbles a bit, and bites back a small noise. 

“Oh... I’m sorry did I hurt you?” _Shinra you idiot he was also in the car accident, he’s bound to be injured. _

“...It’s fine. My knee is messed up. Not your fault.”

Shinra’s eyes widen. Izaya is almost another person. Eyes downcast and soft-spoken. Shinra gives a small smile. 

“Well, sorry about that anyways. Come on, let’s find a good movie to watch.”

They watched a couple movies, and soon enough it was 11 PM. 

“Welp, I’m gonna get some sleep. Let me show you the spare bedroom.”

Izaya nods. 

He sets up the bed for Izaya and turns to him, “Well I bid thee adieu,” and bows. “Get some sleep, Izaya.” And with that, Shinra heads to his own bedroom, right next to this one. 

Shinra falls asleep, waking up only an hour later. An almost muffled sound sends chills through him, and eyes fill just at the sound. 

He falls back asleep to the sound of Izaya sobbing. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m thinking this story will be around five chapters or so? we shall find out. 
> 
> enjoy your tears.

_ Izaya can hear sirens approaching. They should probably get out of the car. _

_ He shakes Mairu to wake her up; the twins always fell asleep in late car rides. _

_ “Mai, come on we gotta go, can’t stay in here.” His fingers are trembling to much, and his right arm throbs at the slightest movement. _

_ If his ears could stop ringing, and if he weren’t so dizzy, he could figure out why. _

_ He can see the lights of ambulances fast approaching. _

_ “C’mon, can’t stay here...” Izaya grabs his sister and starts tugging her from her car seat. Her twisted seat belt is in the way. _

_ He’s still pulling on her when the emergency crews arrive. They even brought a fire truck. _

_ There are paramedics yelling, asking Izaya if they can hear them. Of course he can, they’re fucking yelling. _

_ The fire crew cuts open the passenger door, and paramedics rush in, firmly grabbing Izaya to get him out. _

_ He gets halfway out before he tries going back for Mairu. _

_ “No, my sister, she’s still in there you have to get her!”_

_ He tries holding onto her seat, but his arms are too weak. The paramedicas get him on a stretcher and start rushing him to the nearest ambulance. _

_ They forgot Mairu._

_ “NO! My sister, you left her we have to get her too!”_

_ They’re leaving her! She’s hurt too..._

_ He wriggles around on the stretcher as much as he can, craning his head around to keep an eye on the backseat of the car. _

_ They’ve gotten Mairu out, finally. They lay her on the ground nearby, gently covering her in a sheet. _

_ No... no that’s not right. She needs an ambulance too. _

_ “MAIRU!”_

Shinra’s alarm clock automatically starts blaring at 6:45 AM. 

He cracks his eyes open, and slams his hand down on the off switch. He’s not going to school today. 

He quickly falls back to sleep. 

He wakes up again around 8:30, and he decides he might as well get up then. 

Yawning, he stretches as he stands, and makes his way into the hall, and into the bathroom. 

After brushing his teeth, he decided to check in on Izaya, see if he got any sleep, any at all. 

Quietly, Shinra opens the door a crack, enough to see Izaya. The boy is curled in a heap of blankets, sound asleep, peacefully dreaming. That old panda in his arms. 

Shinra smiles, and eases the door shut. He’s not going to make Izaya get up. 

Honestly, he dreads Izaya waking up. He’s a student of anatomy not psychology, dammit. He doesn’t know how to handle someone else’s grief. Especially not on a person like Izaya. 

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he finds Celty watching the morning news. His mood is instantly boosted, even if she punches him when he goes for a morning hug. 

Izaya doesn’t come out of his room until it’s nearly noon. He blinks at the brightness of the living room, obviously just woken up. 

“Hey Izaya! I was just about to make something for lunch, would you like some?” 

Izaya blinks owlishly at Shinra, clearly not awake yet. His hair is sticking up all over the place. Shinra tried not to smile at the sight of his normally collected friend. 

“Or maybe some coffee?” Izaya nods, moving to sit on the couch. 

Shinra goes through the motions, pouring a black coffee and setting it on the coffee table. He starts some rice too, hopefully Izaya eats something. 

“Where’s Celty?” Shinra nearly jumps, that’s the first time Izaya has spoken today. 

“Oh she’s got a few jobs to take care of today. She’ll probably be around for dinner.”

Izaya nods again, sipping his coffee. 

Shinra blinks awake, it’s nearly pitch dark in his room. The only light is from Tokyo’s city lights. He has to pee. 

He shuffles to the bathroom, glancing at the stove clock for the time: 3 AM. Ugh. 

He hopes he falls asleep quickly because he is going to school in the morning. 

He finishes, and shuffled back into his room, where he sees something (or someone) unexpected. 

At some point while Shinra slept, Izaya had come in to stay with him. 

Shinra doesn’t mind, and he lays on his back next to his friend. 

He decides he won’t make fun of Izaya for this. 

He’s dozing off when he feels a hand slowly wrap around his wrist. As if just to reassure someone is there. 

Just as slowly, without opening his eyes, Shinra twists his wrist, so he is hand in hand with Izaya. He laces their fingers together. 

Izaya’s hand squeezes back slightly, and Shinra hears a shaky inhale. He falls back asleep before he can do anything else. 

_BEEP BEEP BEE-_

_ Fuck this alarm..._

Shinra sighs, looking to his right. 

Miraculously, Izaya slept through the alarm, eyes tracing back and forth in REM sleep. 

He also moved a lot closer during the night. His leg brushes Shinra’s, and he has his other hand wrapped around Shinra’s bicep. Their fingers are still laced together. 

His forehead rests against Shinra’s shoulder, his breathing even. 

Shinra feels like he should be more uncomfortable about this than he is. Which he isn’t. 

Slowly, he disentangles himself, Izaya not stirring once. 

The panda migrated to the foot of the bed during the night. Shinra puts it back in Izaya’s arms. 

Shinra combs his hair, brushes his teeth, and dresses for school, not in that order. There’s toothpaste on his uniform now. 

He chews some toast, Celty still in bed. 

And suddenly, it’s 7:30, time to head out for school. 

He hates to do it, but he shakes Izaya awake. “Hey, I’m going to school today, I’ll be back later, okay?”

Izaya squints at him, blinks, and nods. He curls around his panda and goes back to dreamland. 

_ Lucky bastard. _

Shizuo’s been thinking about the Flea, and he wishes he wasn’t. 

It’s hard not to feel bad for someone after their entire family dies. Hard to keep up his old anger. 

Shizuo doesn’t even know how he feels about Izaya. He makes Shizuo mad, so _so_ angry, that he can’t see straight. 

But he’s also flirtatious to a fault, making Shizuo blush. Innuendo is Izaya’s second name. 

They’re supposed to be enemies, supposed to hate each other, but three times now, their fighting has led to a furious and _delicious_ make-out session. Sometimes with groping. 

They make Shizuo breathless just thinking about them. 

But then, the very next day, Izaya will make sure to piss Shizuo off so much that he doesn’t want to kiss the slimy bastard. 

_Damn crazy Flea..._

“... So how is he doing?” Kyouhei asked Shinra almost the second Shinra sat at his desk. 

Shizuo pretends he’s not eavesdropping. He tells himself he’s not interested, he just won’t bully someone when they’re already down. 

“Ah... about as well as anyone would be, I suppose!” Shinra says this in his usual cheerful tone, making the conversation twice as morbid. 

Does he even care? _Why_ does Shizuo care? He shouldn’t. 

“Well, it’s Izaya, a lot of people expected him to bounce back like nothing. Laugh it off like he does with everything.”

Shinra chuckles a bit, “He may seem cold and heartless, but he’s a lot more sensitive than we give him credit. The twins were half of his whole world. He’s barely the same person anymore.”

Something sinks inside Shizuo. He’d hoped Izaya would saunter around like the same old Flea, but hearing that, somehow makes it more real to Shizuo.

When Shinra gets home from school, Izaya is gone, with a note left on the kitchen counter:

_ Thanks for letting me stay. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think this one is a bit shorter, but i’ll be adding more chapter as i go don’t worry


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come get y’all juice

The only reason Izaya left, was because his uncle called. He said he would be coming by the house soon to discuss the funeral. 

But as Izaya slides his key into the lock, he honestly regrets coming back. He wishes he stayed in hiding at Shinra’s. 

Two nights before, he stared at the house for twenty minutes, not being able to bring himself to step forward. 

He didn’t want to see his sisters toys everywhere. He didn’t want to see their tiny shoes lined up at the door. He didn’t want to see his mothers discarded watch and earrings. His heart wouldn’t take it. 

He still doesn’t, but he knows he has to at some point. So, Izaya swings the door open, and feels his chest tighten. 

A stuffed bunny, accidentally forgotten before the weekend trip (many tears were shed, begging to turn around) sits on the floor by the shoes, as if getting ready to leave itself. 

It joins the panda in Izaya’s arm. 

There are toys strewn about. Izaya doesn’t pick them up. He goes to his room to set his things on the bed and change into a different set of clothes. 

He decides he hates this set. And throws them to a corner. 

Black fits his mood, so he finds the darkest clothing he owns, and dresses in those. 

His mother never liked his uncle, Jirou. His father’s younger brother. 

Izaya has picked up on that when he was little, and figured out why when he got older. 

Jirou is the worst kind of asshole. 

He always looked down on Izaya’s mother because she came from a poor family, or because she’s a woman... or because she had Izaya at nineteen... or because... really any reason, honestly. 

Izaya knows he’s coming by to try milking all of Izaya’s parents’ money in any way he can. Fine, he can have his older brothers’ assets, Izaya doesn’t care. 

He won’t get a sniff of Izaya’s mothers’ money. She worked hard for that money, Izaya knows too well. 

Izaya lets his annoyance over his uncle crowd his mind so he won’t think of anything else. 

It’s been a few hours, his uncle came and went. He practically salivated at the sight of Izaya’s parents’ bank statements. 

He didn’t mention who will take care of Izaya. Probably because he knows he’s the only one who can. 

Izaya would rather struggle by himself that live with Jirou anyway. 

They have the funeral in the evening, two days later. Closed-casket, for which Izaya is grateful. He would not be able to stomach seeing the mangled and ghostly faces of his dead family.

Jirou says some borderline offensive things to “lighten the mood.” He gets half hearted laughs.

His aunts each come up to lament the loss of their oldest sister, each telling a story they have of Kyouko. 

“She was actually in labor with Izaya as she took a final exam for one of her classes. Dedicated and stubborn.

“Her heart and soul belonged to her children, she would do everything for them. And she did do everything for them, working through near-poverty to become a lawyer so her children could live warm and happy.”

“A wild card, you never knew what she’d do next. A trait she definitely passed onto her children.”

The twins’ teacher came, which surprised Izaya. 

“The girls were troublemakers, but also so endearing, you couldn’t help but forgive them. They were the life of the classroom.”

Izaya declines from saying anything. 

He stays at the gravesite for a long time after everyone else left. He doesn’t want to go home to an empty house again. 

_One Month Later_

Shizuo always tries to get to class first. This way, he gets to claim his back corner desk, and he can enjoy the silence (maybe sleep) before others start filtering in.

Someone beat him to it this morning. Izaya Orihara is slumped, head down, at his usual seat in front.

His face is buried, so Shizuo cant really tell if he’s crying, sleeping, or dead. Shizuo keeps moving, and sits at his own seat. 

He (poorly) pretends he isn’t watching the Flea, who doesn’t so much as twitch as more students file in. Some try to get his attention, but they go ignored. Maybe Izaya really is asleep.

Their teacher walks in, shutting the door behind him, and Izaya finally sits up. 

Shizuo doesn’t have a good view of him (originally done to keep them separated) but from what he can see, the Flea has gotten paler, and skinnier. Two things he didn’t really think possible of the ghostly twig. Another student shifts in their seat, blocking Shizuo’s view, so he tries putting the Flea out of his head.

Something he’s never been good at. He looks around at the other students to distract himself.

Shinra is drawing something weird on his notebook; he didn’t even notice Izaya was in the room. Some friend.

Kyouhei is taking notes like a normal student should be.

The other students are in varying states of distraction. A lot of them are sneaking glances at Izaya, as if they expect him to explode at any second.

It pisses Shizuo off. He snaps his pencil by accident.

Sighing, he jams his hands into his pockets.

It’s not till lunch break that Shinra notices Izaya. He immediately bounces to the front of the room.

“Hey Izaya! I didn’t know you came back!”

Izaya flinches at the volume, unused to it after a month. 

“Oh... hey Shinra.”

Shizuo slows his crunching so he can listen. Maybe find out if the Flea is still a flea.

Shinra is babbling about stupid drama that Izaya missed. Izaya is definitely not listening, which is weird. He usually eats that shit up.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Shinra’s attitude flips as he says, “Where’s your lunch, Izaya?”

It’s almost threatening, if it weren’t a statement of concern.

“Don’t have any.”

Jesus, the Flea is really out of it. He usually can barely shut up. Shinra’s almost pulling teeth to get Izaya to talk.

He grabs Izaya by the arm saying, “Come sit with us, I have extra rice,” and drops Izaya into a chair next to Shinra’s.

Which is also to the right of Shizuo. Whatever. Shizuo can be the bigger man here.

Shinra shoves rice into Izaya’s lap, along with a pair of chopsticks, with a stern “Eat.”

“Also, Shizuo I dont want you to start a fight with Izaya right now. Just let him eat,” Shinra says.

“Hah?! I wasn’t gonna fucking start a fight! I’ll start a fight with you, ya damn pervert!” Why, why did Shinra have to put the attention on Shizuo?

“Hmm, I appreciate that, Shizu-chan. I’m out of practice,” Izaya buts in, somehow simultaneously dissolving the tension between Shizuo and Shinra, but raising in between himself and Shizuo. A special talent, really.

...”Shut your mouth, ya flea.”

“Or what?” It almost sounds innocent.

Shizuo twitches, “Or I’ll fucking MAKE you!” Standing, he leans down and crowds Izaya’s space.

Nobody expects the laugh that rings out. 

Izaya is laughing, for the first time in over a month, unbeknownst to the others. It feels amazing.

“Oh Shizu-chan, never change.”

Izaya smiles a real smile, nothing slimy or nasty behind it, and all Shizuo can think is one word, that makes his heart race:

_Beautiful. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont know if it’ll make it into the story naturally so here’s my Kyouko headcannon: her family grew up poor, she decides to go to law school after high school. She has Izaya at 19 with Shirou. She becomes a hella successful lawyer, which means she’s away from home a lot. This is why Izaya grows up and raises the twins alone. She didn’t mean to become distant, she just wanted her children to never know what poor feels like.  
Thank you, and entirely too detailed hc for a character we never see in canon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are we having fun yet?
> 
> BY THE WAY: should i change the title? Is it a good title? Y’all got any ideas?

Izaya makes it another three months before the power to the house is shut off. He was watching Evangelion, too.

Honestly, he’d expected this to happen at some point. Funeral costs, hospital bills, along with continuing to pay off a car and the house, were draining his parents’ account. And Izaya could never make enough money regularly to keep it full.

He’s been almost completely alone since he came home. Sure Shinra would come around, bringing Shizuo sometimes too. He only ever really has fun when Shizuo is around.

Shinra is great, but his hyper energy is almost physically painful for Izaya. Shizuo just lets Izaya be Izaya. He pulls no punches when they bicker, he doesn’t try to force Izaya to talk when he doesn’t want. Shizuo seems to have a sense for when Izaya is having a good day or bad day.

And oh boy, are the bad days bad. Izaya doesn’t even feel like a human on those days. He doesn’t want to go out, he doesn’t want to eat, he doesn’t want to exist.

He hasn’t cried in front of Shizuo, though. He’s trying to keep his dignity around his enemy.

A few weeks ago, Izaya tried to get Shizuo to make out with him. Shizuo was almost offended, and it turned into a huge fight. They didn’t talk for two weeks. Izaya felt revived when Shizuo caught him in an empty hallway and kissed Izaya’s cheek, blushing the whole way.

These days, Shizuo is the only one who makes Izaya really, genuinely happy. Everyone else is trying too hard, stepping around him on tip toes as if he’ll break down at any moment. It’s infuriating and humiliating. He’s still Izaya Orihara, after all. He is not one to be looked down upon. 

_ Ah, shit._

Ever since Izaya came back, he’s the only thing on Shizuo’s mind. And its not even in a bad way! That’s the problem.

Shizuo worries about the Flea; is he eating, is he sleeping, will he show up at school today or has he killed himself? He suggested that Izaya see a therapist. This isn’t something you can just brush off and move on.

Izaya tried to stab his hand, and then he ignored Shizuo for two days. So Shizuo left the subject alone. For now.

Any time Izaya laughs or smiles, especially from something Shizuo said or did, he feels invincible. He made a depressed flea giggle, without using Shinra’s cheap tricks. Shizuo files the fact that Izaya is ticklish for later.

Everything now revolves around a shitty little Flea, but Shizuo is finding he doesn’t really mind.

He’d never realized how truly charming and funny Izaya could be. Or how sensitive he can be. He can be having a great day, but he’ll see a character Mairu liked, or smell a perfume his mother used, and he’s instantly crushed.

One time when this had happened, Izaya tried to get Shizuo to kiss him To “shut everything out.” Shizuo was more than a little put off, and tried telling Izaya it’s not healthy. Izaya yelled at him. They didn’t speak for two weeks. Those two weeks were agony for Shizuo.

But, damn, is a flea prideful. Shizuo had decided enough was enough, and grabbed Izaya, pulling him into an empty hall at school. Before he could really think about what he was doing, Shizuo kissed Izaya on the cheek, his own blushing furiously.

“Stop running away, dammit.”

Shizuo’s never seen Izaya so shocked. He savors the moment.

“Stupid Shizu-Chan...” is mumbled, as Izaya ducks his head to try hiding his bright red cheeks.

_ Cute._

_ Wait, no. Flea’s shouldn’t be cute!_

_ Damn flea..._

After that fight, Shizuo and Izaya have found plenty excuses to disappear to indulge in a few make-out session. They’re not quite as angry as the one’s that used to follow their old fights.

It’s after one of these trysts, that Shizuo realizes he’s really got it bad for the Flea.

“Shizuo, dear, could you do your mother a favor?” Namiko Heiwajima gives her son puppy-dog eyes, as if Shizuo needed to be convinced to help his mom out.

“What, need me to lift something?” His parents may be confused by Shizuo’s strength, but that doesn’t mean they wont reap the benefits every once in a while.

She shakes her head, “No, actually, I need to make a house call. The resident hasn’t paid in months!”

His mom is an insurance agent, which is as exciting as it sounds. She’s never had to go to a client’s house before, though. “Would you mind coming with me? I’ve never even spoken to these people...”

Shizuo shrugs, “Sure, I dont mind.”

His mother brightens, and hugs her gangly son. “Oh thank you, sweetheart! We’ll go when you come home from school.”

“Got it.”

The house they pull up to is clearly unkempt. The lawn looks like it hasn’t been mown in months. His mother comments on it, saying that she hopes the people inside are a little more groomed.

Shizuo hangs back on the grass, as his mom takes a few more steps up onto the porch. There’s a flower pot, but the flowers are long dead.She knocks on the door. She shivers in her stockings. It’s November, too cold to be standing on a porch in tights.

No answer for several moments. She’s raising her hand to knock again, as the door swings open, revealing a teenaged boy, who is wearing his winter coat inside.

He blinks at her. Namiko gives him her best professional smile. “Hello, I’m here from the insurance company. Are your parents home?”

The boy shakes his head, eyes moving to the back of a tall blond guy. He only knows one of those...

Namiko clears her throat, “Ah, right. Well if you could tell them we’ve been calling for months, but no one answers the phone. We haven’t been receiving any payments from their account. So if-“

“Oh.” They boy cuts her off. HE has a very sad and run-down look on his face. “I guess the account ran out of money.”

“I dont understand...”

“Uh... I’m... the only one living here. My parents died.”

Namiko feels her heart skip a beat or two.

“They had everything set to automatically pay monthly bills... but I guess the money has run dry.”

Shizuo turns, thinking the voice sounds familiar. Namiko wants to hug this poor port boy.

“Explains why they shut the power off last month.”

_What_? Namiko opens her mouth to speak, but her son beats her to the punch. 

“Izaya?! The fuck you mean they shut the power off?!” Shizuo charges forward, getting in the Flea’s face.

“Shizuo, please!” Namiko tries to diffuse her son’s temper, but the other boy- Izaya apparently- cuts in.

“Oh hush Shizu-chan, what are you gonna do? Go punch everyone in the electric company?”

“NO, you stupid flea, I’m gonna punch you for not telling anyone you dont have power!”

Namiko’s head spins back and forth between the boys, unsure of how to proceed.

“It’s not a big deal. I’m handling it.”

“BullSHIT! IT’s November! You’re already wearing a coat inside, what are you gonna do when it snows? What you gonna do when all your food spoils, huh?!”

It’s a kind argument, but the delivery is rather threatening. Shizuo inches forward with every word, crowding Izaya’s space. The other boy doesn’t seem scared, though. Shizuo’s bound to start throwing things if Namiko doesn’t step in. She puts her hand on her son’s chest, tries to pull him back.

“Shizuo, I know you mean well, but try to relax a bit, yeah?”

“Tch,” with fire still in his eyes, Shizuo whirls around and walks to the sidewalk next to the car. He pulls out a cigarette.

Namiko sigh, facing Izaya once again. Her eyes soften, “Why did nobody contact us? I’m from the insurance company. We would’ve been able to help you!”

The boy shrugs, almost uncaring, “I dont know. I guess my uncle mixed up the paperwork. What does it matter? I would’ve run out of money anyways.”

Namiko can feel her heart breaking, just looking at this boy. He’s living in his empty house, in the dark and freezing cold. His only company are his memories.

She makes a split decision, that will probably backfire.

“You and Shizuo are friends,yeah?”

He mumbles something along the lines of “I’m not sure if that’s accurate.”

“Come stay with us.”

He blinks at her. He blinks a few times, in fact.

“Really, I dont mind. Just for a week or two. I can help you sort out the money issue.”

She cannot, on a clear conscience, leave this boy in this cold, empty home. She will drag him kicking and screaming if she has to.

“Seriously. Go grab your things, I’ll wait as long as you need. Shizuo will help you.”

Izaya’s eyes shine a little, and he nods. He goes back inside, shutting the door behind him.

Namiko turns to her son, hoping he’s calmed down. She knows he will not be thrilled about this new development. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imagine the sweetest and kindest mother you can. Then multiply by fifty. That’s Shizuo’s mom. She is an angel.   
Next chapter might be the last, maybe i’ll Add a short little epilogue too.


	5. Chapter 5

Izaya took a direct hit from Namiko-san’s motherly kindness. It made his chest clench and tears fill his eyes. He hasn’t felt a mother’s love in so long. 

He thinks she sensed this. When they were in private, she hugged him. He broke down. 

Surprisingly, Shizuo’s father was pretty okay with adding a new kid to the household. He seemed surprised at first, but went along with it like it was nothing. 

Then again, with a son as shocking as Shizuo, you’re bound to be pretty desensitized to everything else. 

Another surprise is how calm and quiet Shizuo is at home. Though, Izaya supposes it makes sense. Home would be the only place where he could keep calm. 

Even if Izaya was sharing a room with him. 

“I’m sorry, sweetie, i don’t have an extra bedroom for you. All I have is a spare tatami mat.”

Izaya didn’t mind. He didn’t plan on staying, anyhow. He would be gone before the sun rose. 

He would have made it out too, had the younger brother, Kasuka, not caught him. 

“If you throw away my mother’s kindness and hospitality, I will make you regret it.”

That one is terrifying. 

So, Izaya has been on Shizuo’s floor for the past two weeks. He was supposed to have left by now, even Namiko-san had originally said “it’s just for a couple weeks.”

But it’s nice to sleep warm at night without fifty blankets, and have warm food in his belly. 

Shinra likes to tease them about it. Izaya just rolls his eyes, Shizuo gets very flustered about it. It’s funny. 

In order not to embarrass himself, Izaya tries to save his break downs for when he’s in the shower. Shizuo can see how red his eyes are after, but at least he doesn’t witness it in the moment. 

He brought his panda and bunny with him. They stay next to him every night. 

One problem, however, is his and Shizuo’s somewhat more-than-friends friendship. More than once they’ve had to hide a hickey, or have sprung apart when there’s a knock on the door. 

(Namiko isn’t stupid, she knows those two aren’t just friends, but she lets them think they’re slick.)

It’s just after midnight, the house is dark and quiet, and Izaya is straddling Shizuo in his bed. The only sound in the room is their heavy breathing. 

Izaya started it, he couldn’t sleep, and the bunny smelled too familiar that it brought tears to his eyes. So he took it upon himself to find a distraction. 

This particular distraction is his favorite. 

He kisses Shizuo, their tongues tangling, sharing breaths without breaking apart. Shizuo’s hands on his back are so, _so_ warm. 

Izaya moves down to kiss and bite Shizuo’s neck. Shizuo tried to gain enough concentration to speak. Izaya is very good at this. 

“Ah- a-Izayaa... What’s this- a-bout?” He’s not stupid, he heard Izaya’s shaky breathing and sniffles before he attacked. 

Izaya sits back, frowning. He hates when Shizuo doesn’t play by the rules. 

“C’mon, I’d rather you tell me than try ignoring the problem.”

“Shut up, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes I do, if that’s the best defense you can give me.”

“Shut up.” Izaya’s frown deepens. _Damn unpredictable Shizu-chan. _

“You were thinking about your sisters again, weren’t you.” It’s not a question and Izaya doesn’t like it. 

“It’s okay, you can tell me about this stuff.”

“Fuck you, Shizu-chan.” Shizuo’s pure kindness is getting to him, faster than he’d like. 

“Look, you have to face this kind of thing or it’s never gonna get better.”

For some reason, this pisses Izaya off, “And what do you know, huh? You’ve still got _everything_! You don’t have to worry about bills and payments you can’t afford! You don’t miss your mother so much to the point you can’t breathe! You don’t have to cry yourself to sleep because your little sisters aren’t sneaking into your bed anymore!” 

Oops, he said too much. Izaya tries to hold back tears, but Shizuo sits up, and gently wraps his arms around Izaya, not saying a word. 

_Dammit..._ “It’s not _fair_... why did they have to leave?” 

Shizuo says nothing, just holds Izaya as tight as he can without hurting him. 

Izaya falls asleep with his head on Shizuo’s chest, tears still wet on his face. 

Apparently, his father had been... affiliated with yakuza. He’d taken a loan out with them to help pay for their house after the twins were born. Izaya didn’t know about this. 

He’s at a playground with Shizuo, lazily swinging, when he’s approached by some intimidating-looking men. 

Shizuo immediately stands up, to protect Izaya, but the Flea doesn’t need to know that 

“You Orihara?”

Izaya nods. 

“Good. Come with us.”

Shizuo growls, “I don’t fucking think so. You can say what you have to here. You’re not taking him anywhere!”

Izaya sighs, “Shizu-chan, relax.” Though he is glad Shizuo is there to defend him, but the brute doesn’t need to know that. “What can i do for you gentleman?”

The one in front, a bald man in a suit, steps forward. “To put it simply: you owe us a lot of money. Pay up.”

Izaya’s eyebrows shoot up, “I’ve never taken money from yakuza. You sure you don’t have the wrong guy?”

“Not you. Shirou Orihara.”

_Oh_. “Heh, I see. ‘Sins of the father’ and all that.”

They continue to stare, all menacing-like. Though the bald one doesn’t seem so scary. 

“Look, I don’t have any money left. My family is dead, I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe you can call up my uncle. He’s still got plenty money.”

The bald one flinched when Izaya said his family died. He already knew that, but it’s worse hearing it from a child’s mouth. It’s hard to keep up a front when all he wants to do is hug the kid. 

He hesitates, “Gimme a sec, I’ll call my boss...” Pulling out a phone, he steps away. 

Shizuo looks at Izaya, anger and panic warring in his eyes. Izaya shrugs. 

If they try to run, they’ll be shot. If they try to fight, they’ll be shot. So, they wait for the phone call to be over. 

It doesn’t take long. Soon enough, baldy is walking back. 

“If you work with us, you can pay back the debt. That’s the only deal I’m offering.”

Work with yakuza, huh? “Sounds like more trouble that it’s worth.”

“Is me shooting you in the face worth it?”

Izaya smirks as Shizuo snarls. “No, I suppose it’s not worth it. Can I have a day to consider my options?”

He is going to be an informant for Shiki, Awakusu executive, and work closely with Kine, the baldy. 

He won’t lie, the adrenaline rush of working with yakuza is a drug for Izaya. Shizuo disapproves, which surprises no one. 

But what else could Izaya do? No job paying minimum wage was going to get him out of debt. At least this job is fun. 

Humans don’t really interest him anymore like they used to. Shizuo is the only one who interests him these days. 

Wisely, he doesn’t tell Namiko-san what his job entails, just that he’s found a job. She’s elated. She’s been helping him get back on his feet. She asks if his job offers health insurance benefits. Izaya has to fight a laugh. 

No, the yakuza do not offer health insurance benefits. 

Within six months, Izaya can get himself his own apartment. It’s small, but big enough for two people. 

Yes two people. Because Shizuo is moving with him. Izaya tries to hide his happiness. 

After clearing out his family’s house, he decided to sell it, it’s too big for one person. 

He donated most of his sisters’ and parents’ things, aside from a few keepsakes. He sold the car. 

After all that, he had enough money to pay off the debt to the yakuza, but he couldn’t quite break off the work relationship. It was too fun. 

They’ve graduated high school, and Izaya is in his second year of college. He’s studying psychology and sociology. He plans on getting a Master’s. 

He doesn’t need the degree, he’s staying an informant, but college sounded too interesting to pass up. 

He misses his family every day. _Every fucking day_. Sometimes he’ll stare at their old photos, imagining what his sisters would have grown up to be, if his parents would be proud. Shizuo says he knows that they are proud of their son. 

Shizuo is his only stability, really. He’s the calm island in Izaya’s storm. 

It’s Valentine’s Day. Every year they get each other a chocolate, and they bake a cake for his sisters. Izaya doesn’t like sweets much, but he eats the whole thing with Shizuo. 

Izaya’s playing with the crumbs on his plate, when Shizuo says it. 

“I love you.”

Slowly, Izaya looks up. Shizuo looks enraptured with Izaya. Well, until his words catch up to him and he burns bright red. 

“Ah, um, I’m sorry, uh, dont worry, uh, you don’t need to say it back, um I-“

Izaya cuts him off with a kiss that tastes like frosting. 

Izaya thinks he’ll be okay, as long as he has his beast. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek if this ending is good but let me know. might write an epilogue.

**Author's Note:**

> crying in the club
> 
> will add one or two more chapters. this story is a little longer than i’d thought lmao.


End file.
